It wasn’t very crowded at Bert’s Diner Saturday morning. It was a pretty Midwest morning, and I reckon most folks were enjoying the outdoors. We had most of our group gathered in the backroom, except for Walter Campbell, our former district attorney and semi-retired county judge.
We are talking about the state of the nation when Walter walked in. Before we could day “howdy” and bust him for being late, he let us know we were not in for a typical breakfast.
“I have some things to say,” he said, “in light of the morbid, disgusting and terrifying state of moral and ethical decay, not to mention the presence of mental illness, in our White House and Congress.”
“We were just talking about some of that, Walter,” Will Sturgill told him. “Sit down and join in.”
“No,” Walter said. “I prefer to stand for this speech, and a speech it will be. So I will ask you in advance to just shut the hell up and listen.”
When I former DA and current part-time judge talks to you like that, you tend to listen.
“I have been celebrating the 250th anniversary of our nation by actually going back and studying out beginnings,” he said. “Like most folks our age, I have a good general knowledge about what happened before the creation of our nation and Constitution. I have a good knowledge of what our high and low points have been since.
“But, never in my life could I have imagined the…..the….I don’t know what to call where we are today. Are we in the land of Oz? Have we stumbled down the rabbit hole into Alice’s world, but one without the laughs and cake? Are we moving toward some dystopian world ala ‘Mad Max’? I don’t know.
“Today we are seeing a White House with one side ripped off. We are seeing a Rose Garden devoid of roses and covered with cement. We are seeing a mixed martial arts cage built on the lawn. We are seeing a family enrich itself at the expense of every American. We are engaged in an absurd war, or excursion of whatever you want to call it. We are seeing a president suing his own government, then settling with it and using the money to bribe riffraff and felons into becoming his own standing militia. We are seeing a madman sitting up at night posting to social media commentary that even a 12-year-old schoolyard bully would consider childish.
“So, I have been reading and watching television. I have been watching different types of documentaries on our Founding Fathers and on various presidents and leaders who, when the moment called for people to do extraordinary things, even though they were not themselves extraordinary, they did them. They are not hard to find. I have found them on Netflix, by looking back on all that Ken Burns has done, Prime. Not hard to find.
“The contrast between those who created this nation and those who, in times of peril, helped preserve it with the pathetic band of mentally disturbed insurrectionists that passes as the Republican Party today is stark. With apologies to reputable mobile home parks, compared to our founders and others we are now being governed by a collection of trailer trash.
“Consider Jefferson, an imperfect man on so many levels but a man who at his core understood that democracy had to begin in the soil and grow upwards. Yes, I know. His view of democracy did not include blacks and women, but I will forgive him that against the backdrop of what he and others created.
“The historian Jon Meacham said something to the effect that the Declaration of Independence was the ‘finest piece of writing in the English language.’ Let’s look at some of what Jefferson said.
“’A Prince whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free people.”’ Could we take those words today and apply them to the madman currently residing at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue?
“’We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed, by their Creator, with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness.’
“I could go on. Contrast that with the writings of our current ‘leader.’
“’Low IQ Democrat Minority Leader, Hakeem Jeffries, is nothing but a THUG, and he is a danger to our Country! President DONALD J. TRUMP’
“Tuesday will be Power Plant Day, and Bridge Day, all wrapped up in one, in Iran. There will be nothing like it!!! Open the fuckin’ Strait, you crazy bastards, or you’ll be living in Hell – JUST WATCH! Praise be to Allah. President DONALD J. TRUMP’
“That’s enough. You get the picture. I also have been watching documentaries and reading about other leaders, from Lincoln to Grant to Teddy Roosevelt, FDR, Ike. They are a varied lot, but what I have learned is that we have been saved as a nation, in the end, by decency. No two of these men were alike. They came from dissimilar backgrounds. But what they believed in was our nation as it was founded and then made better.
“I don’t know if our nation will survive this madness. As I look at Donald Trump’s continuing slide into madness; as I looked at the low characters of those around him being exposed; as I look at polls showing even Republicans who voted for him starting to have second thoughts about him and his worthless cabinet and Congressional toadies, I have hope. Only one thing will stand in the way of our recovery as a nation and that will be the traditional ability of the Democratic Party to fuck up a one-car funeral. I hope for once the factions in that party can see what the one, central prize is and place their issue-specific interests aside for the moment.
“Now, Rose, where are you? Ah, there you are. I will have two-eggs over easy, hash-browns done a crisp, a side of bacon and wheat toast lightly buttered, a small orange juice and coffee.” With that Walter sat down.
Lecture given. Lecture heard. Lecture received. – By Sterling Fields